Thursday, July 1, 2010

My Shedding Season Opus

Inspired by and dedicated to @quinncy of The QC Report, my very quickly written opus to shedding season. Set to the tune of "Sound of Silence":

Hello Swiffer, my old friend
Will shedding season never end
Because a kitten softly creeping
Left its fur while I was sleeping
And the dander that was planted on my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of sweeping

In restless dreams I swiff'd alone
Narrow cracks upon the stone
'Neath the halo of the down
I tugged my mop along with a frown
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a fuzzy light
That split the night
And touched the sound of sweeping

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand dog hairs, maybe more
Hairs shedding without brushing
And molting without caring
Then wafting down, down, down upon my couch
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of sweeping

"Fools", said I, "You do not know
Molting like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words, like silent shedding fell
And echoed
In the wells of sweeping

And the dog hairs bowed and prayed
To the cat fur god they made
And the pelt flashed out its warning
In the lint that it was forming
And the sign said, "The fur of the prophets will cover your hallway walls
And bedroom halls"
And whispered in the sound of sweeping.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Out and about today:

Lydia: Mom! I just saw my favorite car.

Me: You did? I didn't know you had a favorite kind of car. Which one is it?

Lydia: That long one over there! (points to a black stretch limo)

Me: (says) Oh, that's called a limo. (thinks) Of COURSE it's your favorite.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Geek Parent Pride

Like winning the lottery.

Monday, May 18, 2009

LOST Fans: Curing the Post-Season Blues

Coping with the harsh, cold reality of hump day without LOST for week upon endless week is tough.  When your post-season LOST ennui threatens to overwhelm, why not try a fun Dharma inspired craft project?

These labels from Max Pictures' Blather are so fantastic, I've had to restrain myself from covering the contents of our pantry in Dharma Initiative labels.  (Fear not: I may yet get to that point.)

As it is, I couldn't resist creating these small favors for our LOST season recap dinner tomorrow night:

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Birds & Bees

So right at Martin's school pickup one day last week Lydia asked THE question, you know, the one you never feel quite prepared for. The baby question.  Which should not be surprising given her interest in having babies, but still.  She's only five.

Saved by the pickup - I replied that it was a great question but we'd have to talk about it after we got home.  Of course, once home, she went on her way and in the chaos of dinner, homework, dog, bath, bed I quite forgot about it.

I remembered on Sunday and told Marty.  So at breakfast (breakfast!) he launched right in, and asked Lydia if she still wanted to know where babies came from.  "Of course," she said.  "Not so fast," said Martin.  "I DO NOT want to know."

"Are you sure?" I asked.  "At 8 years old, some of your friends might start talking about this stuff."

"I don't care, I won't listen." he said.  "I don't want to know!"

And so he doesn't.  But Lydia does!  In basic, simple terms - and that's all she cared about.  No "eew" or "gross" with her; just gathering information, she filed it away for future reference.

But on the topic of kissing, she had this to say: "I want to kiss a boy, right NOW!"

Just as I was thinking, "We are going to need both a porch, and a shotgun," we realized that she meant she wanted to kiss her dad.  Aww.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Next Generation

Lydia has been discussing and planning for the arrival of her children since the age of 3.  An incredible amount of foresight, if you ask me.  I can't recall ever giving the matter this much consideration until my late 20's.

She has waffled a bit on the number of children - first she planned to have 4, but then abandoned that number as 'too much work', and opted for 2.  Lately she is back to four.

She'll casually reference the topic in conversation; shopping in the mall, she has said things like, "Oh, that baby outfit is adorable.  Will you buy it for my baby when it's born?", or driving in the car the other day, "Will you come and stay with me to help after my baby is born?"

And most recently, as an addendum to a conversation about birthdays:

Lydia: "When you have a birthday, after I have my babies, they can come to your party and help you celebrate, and have cupcakes."

Me: "Yes, of course, that will be fun.  I fully intend to give your children ALL the cupcakes they want!"


Lydia: "Not ALL the cupcakes they want, MOM.  They'll have to ask me if they want more than one!"

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Kids are Smart

"I want Barack Obama.  I think it would be a better way.  I don't want to go to being poor, like you don't have enough money for food and stuff."

"Yeah, I think Barack would give us more money."

"What's this economic thing they're talking about?"

"John McCain thinks he understands economics better than Barack Obama."

"I doubt that."